This guide is, and always will be, 100% free. It’s my gift from the other side of anxiety to help you get better. Anxiety derailed my life, my world was a nightmare, and every waking minute was hell on earth. As hard as it may be to believe, I look back at my two-year-long bout with anxiety and count it as a gift. Anxiety made me more empathetic, kinder, and more appreciative. My hope is that when you get to the other side, you will be an improved version of yourself too.

The Old You is Dead

When we’re faced with chronic anxiety, we long for the person we used to be before panic took over our lives. While looking back can bring positive memories, it’s more important to look to the future and build back stronger. If you’ve been suffering from anxiety for a substantial amount of time, it has changed you—but that’s okay. As humans, we change and evolve regularly, and this bout of anxiety is just a bleak chapter in your story.

One thing I’ve noticed with anxiety sufferers is that they live either in the past or the future, but never in the present. Instead of addressing current problems, they focus on how they used to feel or worry about the future.

The first step to recovery is letting go of any preconceived notions about yourself and your past. Recovery is about building, not looking back, and in this guide, I will share what helped me get to the place I am today.

My Anxious Breakdown

“I don’t want to die, but I can’t live like this anymore.”

Slumped in a bed, months into severe anxiety and depersonalization, I reached a point I didn’t think was possible for me. At times, I felt an overwhelming urge to end my life. My whole world was falling apart, and I didn’t know what to do.

My anxiety began with a pain in my neck. A gnawing pain became a constant annoyance. As a competitive martial artist, injuries were regular, but this was different. I remember being in training and suddenly being hit with a wave of vertigo. I felt like a sailor at sea in gale-force winds—my world was quite literally spinning.

I excused myself from the mat and went home. The vertigo temporarily went away, but the neck ache continued.

Days went by, and one night after training, I was lying on the bed, reading the news, when I was suddenly struck with palpitations. I had experienced a few panic attacks in my teens over a decade earlier, but this was something else. I was sure something was very wrong. I went to the bathroom, shaking, sweating, and with my heart racing. In that moment, my life changed—panic took over.

I went straight to the Emergency Room, where doctors quickly diagnosed me with severe vertigo due to my neck issue and suggested my high heart rate could have been triggered by that. If you’re reading this, I’m sure you see where this is going—the heart rate wasn’t caused by vertigo, but it took me a while to realize that.

The next few weeks were a blur. I couldn’t leave my bed after a few days, and the episodes of high heart rate were becoming more frequent. My bedroom was spinning, and I was convinced I had a brain tumor or something equally sinister.

I visited the Emergency Room numerous times. I went from competing in combat sports to crying in an ER toilet within three weeks. The doctors were dismissive, and no one could help me.

Finally, after weeks of appointments, one doctor asked if I thought it could be anxiety. I was upset that the doctor wasn’t taking my suffering seriously. “Anxiety isn’t this bad, something is really wrong with me!” I snarled before returning home dejected.

Days later, I had a realization—maybe the doctor was right. Eventually, I came to terms with the diagnosis. I thought having a label would help, but things only got worse. I had a number of “oh my god, I’m actually dying” panic attacks, and eventually, I had to leave the city and move in with my girlfriend and her family.

The next six months were the worst of my life. The panic attacks became less frequent but were replaced by 24-hour constant anxiety—at one point, my left leg twitched for seven days straight.

The brain has some unusual protection mechanisms. After weeks of severe anxiety, it was as if I had burned myself out. I had no more anxiousness left to burn, and that void was replaced by crippling depersonalization. I felt completely otherworldly, like there was a pane of glass between me and everyone else. No matter how much I tried to explain, no one truly understood how I felt.

If you’re reading this, you know how hard it is to suffer from anxiety and how isolated it feels. Even with loved ones supporting you, it’s hard for them to empathize unless they’ve experienced severe anxiety themselves.

My anxiety continued for another year before my comeback began, and in this guide, I will provide practical advice to help you get better. During my illness, I read every major book on anxiety, but I was uncomfortable with people putting recovery behind a paywall. I vowed to share my steps to recovery for free, and now that I’ve been anxiety-free for a long time, I am ready.

What Causes Anxious Breakdowns?

“It came out of the blue.”

Most people I speak to about severe anxiety say it came out of nowhere. But usually, it becomes clear that there were obvious causes. Below, I will break down the three most common causes I see.

If you don’t see your story here, don’t worry. Knowing the cause is nice, but it doesn’t affect your recovery prognosis. Even if you never find your “why,” I am confident you can make a full and lasting recovery.

Medical Issues

I’m not a doctor. I have no medical training, and I have no plans to get it (I have no interest in paying more money to colleges). If you feel you have a medical issue causing your anxiety, please see a doctor for a good check-up. If your doctor suggests you have anxiety and you don’t believe them, get a second opinion, but after that, accept the diagnosis.

Interestingly, I’ve met many people whose anxiety was triggered by medical issues. One man had a serious illness months before his breakdown. Another suffered from hormonal dysfunction. I’ve even seen anxiety brought on months after joint and bone injuries.

The reasons why physical issues cause mental issues aren’t always clear. French philosopher Descartes wrote about dualism and the separation of mind and body, but as we’ve learned more, we’ve realized the body and mind are one. Issues with the body can affect the brain.

There’s a theory that illness causes inflammation, leading to mental issues. I also believe that the routine change caused by illness or injury, along with fatigue during recovery, creates the perfect breeding ground for anxiety.

If you’ve had an acute injury, chronic illness, or an adverse drug reaction, these could be the cause of your severe anxiety. But no matter the cause, the path to recovery remains the same—you can and will get better.

Lifestyle Issues

I won’t sugarcoat this: your behavior could have contributed to your anxiety.

When I first became anxious, I thought there were no causes—I was a victim. But I later realized I was a big part of the problem. I ignored all the signals my body was giving me and, worse, I engaged in behavior that I knew wasn’t good for me.

The day of my life-changing panic attack, I consumed two energy drinks and two Starbucks coffees. I had been suffering from fatigue for months—a sign I needed rest—but instead of resting, I medicated myself with stimulants. This stupid behavior wasn’t unique to me; I’ve seen it in many others. I’ve worked with people who lived on junk food, leaving them malnourished and emotionally blunted.

Binge eating is common in those on the verge of a breakdown. Using food to cope with emotions is a sure sign that trouble is ahead. Another common lifestyle issue that can lead to anxiety is alcohol consumption. I worked with someone who drank a bottle of wine every night and couldn’t understand why she didn’t feel well. Problem drinking often serves as a distraction from other issues, and even regular binge drinking can create an environment for anxiety to thrive.

I once worked with a man who had crippling anxiety but swore he lived a healthy lifestyle and didn’t know what caused his problems. After numerous calls, he let slip that he took cocaine on weekends—something he hadn’t mentioned. It blew my mind that he didn’t realize the connection. Not only did he take cocaine, but he also did so while on antidepressants. Thankfully, once he stopped his weekend “supplement,” his symptoms began to resolve. Avoid all recreational drugs until you’re in recovery from anxiety—including weed.

Trauma / Personal Issues

This section is difficult to write because I don’t know your personal circumstances. Trauma is a leading cause of anxiety, but there’s no easy solution for it. As I mentioned, knowing the cause of anxiety won’t necessarily hinder your recovery, so don’t worry; just use this section to identify if any of these issues could be contributing.

One of the most common causes I see is unhappy relationships. Anxiety is often a signal from your body that it needs change. I worked with someone who felt unfulfilled in her marriage—her husband didn’t appreciate her, and she felt isolated from her friends and family. Another person’s breakdown occurred months after their partner cheated. Issues don’t always manifest immediately; sometimes they take months or years to surface.

I’m not suggesting you leave your spouse, but be open to the possibility that your relationship could be impacting your mental health. During my breakdown, I didn’t realize my relationship had issues, but addressing them was key to my recovery.

I don’t claim to be an expert in personality disorders like BPD or PTSD, but I was diagnosed with PTSD during my initial breakdown. It recovered alongside my anxiety. Trauma can definitely contribute to anxiety, but you can still recover while seeking help for other issues from a mental health professional.

If nothing in this section resonates with you, don’t worry. The cause may answer your “why,” but you don’t need to know why to recover.

What is Severe Anxiety?

Before discussing how to cure severe anxiety, I want to explain the two major symptoms: heart palpitations and depersonalization. While common symptoms include palpitations, there are also uncommon ones. Anxiety can cause bizarre sensations—even if I don’t touch on yours specifically, it’s likely that anxiety is behind them. Congratulations on being a weirdo—welcome to the club.

I’ll start with one of my own weird symptoms. My eyelid twitched for about three months straight. Walking around as an anxious mess with a twitchy eyelid was quite the look.

Here’s why you’re experiencing your symptoms.

Heart Palpitations

One of the most common and misunderstood symptoms of anxiety is heart palpitations or increased heart rate. During my anxiety, my resting heart rate was about 20 beats per minute above normal. During panic attacks, my heart rate exceeded 150 multiple times. Understanding what palpitations are and how anxiety causes them helped me stop worrying.

To understand anxiety, we must understand the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.

The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) is the calm part of the autonomic nervous system. You may have heard the term “fight or flight.” The PNS deals with the opposite side of the anxious spectrum—its role is to help you “rest and digest.”

But the PNS also drives less glamorous functions like salivating and defecating. It helps lower your heart rate, which is often overpowered by the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) in anxiety sufferers.

The SNS is both awesome and terrifying. It prepares your muscles, lungs, and heart for action. However, it’s a little bit dumb—think of it as the lovable hero who often does dumb things. While the SNS prepares you for physical activity, it sometimes sends the signal without any need, causing your heart to race during a panic attack.

The SNS misinterprets anxiety as a real threat, triggering the adrenal glands to release adrenaline and noradrenaline. These neurotransmitters cause surging emotions, and in the case of palpitations, they directly increase your heart rate.

Though scary, they are simple physical expressions of a trigger-happy nervous system. Knowledge alone won’t necessarily stop a panic attack, but it helps to know you are safe—your heart is built for this.

If you’re worried, see a cardiologist. In a later chapter, I’ll show ways to ease anxiety, strengthen your PNS, and help you feel comfortable again.

Depersonalization / Derealization

I could write a book on depersonalization—and some have. It is, by far, the most bizarre, scary, and debilitating symptom of severe anxiety.

Depersonalization varies, so describing it concisely is difficult. If you’ve experienced it, you know it’s intrusive and unrelenting.

For me, it felt like the way I experienced the world suddenly changed. I was hyper-aware of everything, including myself. Everything looked distorted, and I struggled to process light and sound normally. I felt detached from my environment, family, and friends. Whenever I tried to explain it, no one understood. I thought I was losing my mind, but the fact that I worried about it was a strong sign that I wasn’t. People who “go crazy” usually don’t realize they are unwell.

“How long does depersonalization last?”

Most people just want to know how long it will last. The bad news is that it can last a long time if not treated correctly, but the good news is that I have a foolproof way to overcome it.

Depersonalization’s biological mechanism likely involves high concentrations of stress hormones. These hormones take a long time to metabolize. Depersonalization is stressful in itself, leading to panic and more stress hormones, creating a vicious cycle.

Depersonalization was the worst experience of my life. The way out was to lower my overall anxiety and allow stress hormones to dissipate over time. I’ll explain how I did it later in this guide. You don’t need expensive guides or treatments—you can get out of this.

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How to Recover From Severe Anxiety

Your journey through anxiety is almost over. I wish I could say the path to freedom involves an exciting herb or new treatment, but the truth is, we’ve had the answer for a long time: it’s pretty straightforward.

Stop fighting your anxiety, accept your current reality, embrace the discomfort, and actively engage with life again.

I know this sounds anticlimactic, but trust me, there’s more to it. Dr. Claire Weekes was a pioneer in anxiety treatment. Her key teaching was to ride the waves of anxiety. This approach is foundational to my treatment, which worked for me and many others.

I used a holistic approach, which I will explain in a later section. But the crux of recovery lies in taking a paradoxical approach to anxiety.

Before tackling constant anxiety, let’s address its more easily treatable sibling: panic attacks. Though terrifying, panic attacks are also one of the most easily cured symptoms.

When we have a panic attack, every inch of our body tells us to run away from our anxiety. We pray it stops, we fight it—but the fighting intensifies the anxiety.

By actively fighting a panic attack, we send ourselves deeper into fight or flight. You’ve had panic attacks, and you know they stop within 30–90 minutes. Fighting them reinforces to your body that something is wrong, triggering stronger symptoms.

Let me guide you through stopping panic attacks in their tracks.

How to Stop Panic Attacks

I bet that when you feel a panic attack coming on, you start to bargain: “Not now,” or “Please, not here—let me have it later.” Every time you plead, it turns up with a vengeance.

Panic thrives on fear. When we try to run from it, we validate the anxiety, making our body go into overdrive, worsening the symptoms.

Here are my steps to get through a panic attack:

1. Accept it: When you feel the initial wave of panic, don’t run or bargain. Just accept that you might feel uncomfortable. You’ve been through worse panic attacks before, and you know they can’t hurt you.

2. Demand more: If the panic peaks, demand more from it. Panic is just concentrated nervous energy. If it feels unbearable, demand more. Say, “Is that the best you can do? Show me more.” This paradoxical approach works.

3. Distract yourself: As the panic subsides, distract yourself—call a friend or play a game. Expect panic to come in waves; each time, repeat the first two steps. Afterward, do something to release excess energy—exercise or move around.

Panic attacks lose their power once you no longer fear them. Since recovering, I’ve had two panic attacks, but I implemented my steps and they ended within minutes.

If I find myself in an anxiety-inducing situation, I ask for a panic attack. Each time, nothing happens. When you request panic, it short-circuits the response—after all, if it were a life-or-death situation, would you really ask for anxiety?

Recovering From Constant Anxiety

“Anxiety is an illness based on control.”

When we are anxious, we feel powerless and out of control. No matter how long you’ve felt like a passenger to anxiety, there is a way to take back control.

The most common trap anxiety sufferers fall into is avoidance. When anxiety takes over, we rely on “safe places” and “safe people.” While they might seem like good coping mechanisms, they only reinforce anxiety.

A safe place suggests that everywhere else is dangerous. A safe person implies you can’t cope without them. Neither is true—you are as safe during an anxious episode on a train as you are in your bed.

What are the first steps I recommend? Exposure therapy works well for phobias, but for severe anxiety, it’s different. I advocate putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, doing things you have been avoiding.

Anxiety chasing is one of the most powerful ways to reduce anxiety. Start incorporating activities you’ve avoided, even if they make you uncomfortable. The only way out of anxiety is through it. The people who don’t recover are those who spend years running from it.

If you feel you can’t do anything, I promise you can. At one point, I couldn’t even leave the house, but within months, I went to Paris on holiday.

A key part of recovery is compassion. You are probably angry with yourself for ending up in this situation. It’s easy to beat yourself up, but it doesn’t help, and it’s not fair. From now on, I want you to treat yourself as you would treat someone you love if they were going through severe anxiety. Would you shout at them or call them names? No, you wouldn’t. But somehow, we often treat ourselves without compassion.

You should treat yourself as you would treat a sick loved one. Diet, exercise, and supplementation are crucial components of my holistic approach. I’ve spoken with many anxious people who avoid eating, binge eat, or drink alcohol to numb their anxiety—behavior they would never suggest to a loved one in the same situation. If your child, mother, or friend had anxiety, your first recommendation would be to make sure they eat proper meals, get enough fresh air, and avoid alcohol. But when it’s ourselves, we often hit self-destruct mode.

If you are suffering badly right now, the simplest steps to start your recovery are to shower every day, maintain hygiene, and keep some semblance of normality. Eat regularly, maintain a balanced diet, and avoid alcohol and caffeine for at least the first month of recovery.

Regarding the best diet for anxiety, there’s a lot of misinformation out there, but I subscribe to the “keep it simple, stupid” philosophy. Now is not the time for restrictive diets like keto, vegan, or carnivore. Instead, focus on eating a well-balanced diet that includes fruits and vegetables. Don’t stress yourself further by adding dietary worries to the mix. Also, I recommend eating at a calorie maintenance level or a slight surplus—your body needs all the energy it can get right now.

Supplements for Anxiety

There are supplements that I do recommend. Everything I recommend is based on my personal experience. I don’t take any affiliate money or run ads unless otherwise disclosed. I only suggest things that personally benefited me. As always, please do your own research before trying any supplement.

A supplement often suggested but that definitely does not work for anxiety is marijuana. I had many people recommend it to me, but the research shows that it can make anxiety worse. Please avoid it until your anxiety is under control.

The number one supplement I recommend is ashwagandha. Ashwagandha has been shown to be effective in reducing chronic stress in numerous studies. It takes a few weeks to feel the effects, but I highly recommend it.

L-theanine provides more immediate relief for anxiety symptoms. Like ashwagandha, there is a lot of promising research supporting its use.

A good quality magnesium supplement is also a staple of any anxiety stack. Most people don’t get enough magnesium through their diet. Supplementing magnesium helps relax muscles, which are often tight in anxiety sufferers.

You don’t need to go into debt buying supplements or following a special diet. Most people can recover just by using lifestyle-based interventions.

Exercise

As I finish writing this guide, I’m currently injured and feeling sorry for myself. Injuries always remind me how amazing exercise is for both body and mind. I believe there’s a type of exercise for everyone to enjoy—you don’t have to powerlift, sprint, or do martial arts to reap the rewards of working out. Try different activities and see what you enjoy because the benefits are clear.

Engaging in regular exercise has numerous proven mental benefits. For starters, exercise stimulates the release of endorphins, which naturally improve mood and reduce anxiety and depression. Exercise also helps manage stress, making us more resilient in stressful situations. It improves cognitive function, increasing our ability to concentrate and stay alert. It also improves sleep quality, contributing to a positive mood and overall wellbeing. Ultimately, regular exercise promotes both physical health and mental health.

If you would like a basic plan outlining my fitness advice please sign up below and I’ll send you some more info.

Surround Yourself with the Right People

While on the surface it makes sense to find people going through the same situation as you and to talk to people who can relate to how you feel, one thing that you need to do more than anything is separate yourself from self reflection and collective misery. If you found this guide, I am willing to bet you were probably looking on a forum or googling anxiety recovery stories. While I am glad you found me, I worry that you have probably also found negative stories and communities of people who have spent years in anxious loops.

Without getting into the science behind the bias towards negative information and the power of emotional contagion, just know that how you spend your time and who you spend your time with will directly impact your mental health and recovery. I fell victim to these rabbit holes myself, scrolled through niche subreddits about rare diseases and psychological issues. I felt hopeless, but I also felt like I found people similar to me. While it is great to talk to like minded people, recovering from anxiety is better and you will never recover if you spend your time talking about anxiety.

The good news however is that while negative emotions are contagious, so too are positive ones. One of the reasons you have felt anxiety to such an intense degree is because you have a gift for hyperfixation and obsession. You currently obsess about how you feel, how hard things are and all your symptoms, but what if I told you that this hyperfixation could also help you get better?

After you get out of the acute phase of anxiety one of two things tend to happen: either you relapse immediately, or you stagnate before making improvement jumps over the next few months. One thing that I have found extremely powerful for myself and clients is to use your burgeoning recovery as a springboard into positive life changes and one way to channel your nervous energy is to open yourself to new experiences.

Post anxiety I started a business which I later sold, but through that experience I was forced to create a new circle of connections and broaden my horizons. By starting something new I was given the opportunity to surround myself with new people who were outside of my established circle and I found it liberating as I was in complete control of who I worked with and when, which allowed me to cultivate a positive environment rather than leaning back on my old toxic friendships and negative interactions.

It doesn’t need to be starting a whole new career, you could get similar benefits from joining a new club or fitness class, essentially you need to find people who are happy and surround yourself with positivity because it is contagious. This doesn’t mean you need to find people you don’t relate to, trust me when I say you can find people with similar interests who are more positive and likely to build you up rather than engulf you in their negativity.

Remember you cannot be a support person for a friend or a loved one with a mental health issue while you also have a mental health issue. You will never get better unless you focus on your own needs above all else. When you are fully in recovery you will be able to give back to others, but until then your only focus needs to be on you.

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Summary

Hope is what will guide you through this period of anxiety. Knowing that, no matter how bad you feel now, you can still get better—that is powerful. I am not the first person to overcome anxiety. A simple internet search will show you thousands of recovery stories, and I hope one day you will email me to share yours.

The fact that you’re actively searching for ways to get better fills me with hope for you. The hardest part of recovery is finding the drive to get better, and by making it to the end of my article, you’ve shown an abundance of drive! Follow my steps and give it time. Everyone’s recovery timeline is different, but consistency will get you there in the end.

I can’t reply to every email, but please drop me a message if you found this helpful. As I write this, know that you are all in my thoughts.

This site is completely self-funded. I have avoided ads and selling products because I want to help people who can’t afford books or one-to-one coaching.  The only way I can keep doing this is if you support the project.

We are all alone in this together

UPDATE – December, 2024

 

At the moment, my schedule is a bit hectic, so I’ve had to close one-to-one coaching temporarily. However, if you’d like to support my site and its mission, you’re welcome to make a donation. If you do, feel free to leave a question in the notes—I’ll make sure to answer it in my next email.

Wishing you a wonderful holiday season.

Warm regards,